Photo – Joanne Kim
Many years ago, I remember feeling frustrated with my life . I wanted to change my reality when I stumbled upon a book called, Creative Visualization, by Shakti Gawain. The book talked about using your own imagination to create the life that you wanted. I was intrigued by this ‘new age’ mindset because I desperately wanted my life to change. Like an obsessed addict I followed the book and several other books that I came across. I meditated, visualized, prayed and did positive affirmations with total sincerity. However, the harder I tried to change my life the deeper down the rabbit hole I went.
I know now that I didn’t want to be myself. I wanted to find a magic pill that would transform me into a super star, free of all human limitations. Although I could manifest certain things, like making enough money to pay the bills or shifting my state of mind. Over time, I started to realize the the guy I was deeply in love with, wasn’t the best choice for me. And maybe the things I wanted for myself were only my ego’s need to be filled.
I struggled for years fighting my own mental state . I wanted to bypass doing the inner work and like magic have the perfect life. I would see psychics, healers, and spiritual teachers who said I needed to work through all my inner demons. What a bunch of idiots, I thought to myself. I was miserable. My life felt like Ground Hogs Day. Little did I know that my spirit was patiently nudging me to stop resisting.
The more I visualized a different life with god-universe-spirit-my higher self the more I was giving momentum to my unfolding path. When I look back at myself I have to smile. I spent so much time kicking and screaming. Although now I have enough wisdom to realize there was a bigger plan in store for me and it far surpassed my own limited-finite, ideas..
Today I am helping people who are having the exact same conflict in their lives that I did back then. When I work with them, I suggest that all they need to do is surrender. They nod their head and tell me, “Yes, yes, you’re right. I will surrender,” but as soon as they get back into their lives they forget.
The personality struggles to stay in control but until we are able to surrender to our souls purpose we will continue remain out of alignment. I often think, “why is it so difficult to get this”?
People I know the struggle is real. It took me several years to finally get this.
While things may not be exactly like I wanted when I was younger, (thank god) I am in such awe, because the life I have today is the life I was meant to live. And as far as I am concerned there is nothing better than that!
“The wisdom, grace, and humor(!) Shari brings to her work is of a divine essence. By that, I mean when she speaks – it’s direct, it’s elevated, and it cuts right through all the noise.
It isn’t a blast of good vibes, or cheap flattery – the kind of ego hooks and powerlessness many profit off of. Working with Shari is learning a way of living – with presence, discernment, gratitude, and joy. It’s remembering one’s own eternal and inviolable spirit, in the face of a world becoming increasingly deceptive, fearful, and ego-driven. There’s no greater gift.”
– Georgia Kirtland